How to Avoid Bad Client Experiences by Setting Boundaries and Aligning Values

If you've run a business long enough, you’ve probably dealt with your share of difficult clients. Some may have dressed you down for not meeting their expectations, even after delivering exactly what they asked for. Others may have been inconsistent in how they communicate, leaving you with the responsibility of hounding them for feedback on in-progress work or even outstanding payments they owe you.

These experiences may be common among small-business owners, but how each of them handles it can come down in part to perspective and personality type. Some can let the bad experiences make them cynical, while others can find ways to transcend the negativity to find the lesson that further improves and inspires them. 

But what separates the growth-minded entrepreneurs from the cynics? Diving into the habits of those who excel at finding the best from the worst can help you grow as a person and a business-owner, and equip you with the tools you need to not let bad experiences keep you down. 

A Lesson in Creating Clear Boundaries

One of the best ways to prevent cynicism is to keep the same negative situation from occurring again. Setting appropriate boundaries helps you protect yourself and your business from situations in which customers might be tempted to take advantage of you. 

“My most difficult experiences have often been around the issue of boundaries," says Lindsey Pollak, a small-business owner and the author of Recalculating: Navigate Your Career Through the Changing World of Work. 

"As a speaker and consultant, I often set a project or event fee as opposed to, say, charging by the hour,” Pollak continues. “I once had a client I liked, but she emailed and called me all the time. Eventually, the amount of communication was overwhelming, and I grew resentful.”

But Pollak didn't allow the negative situation to affect her business. She simply decided to launch client engagements differently from that point forward, creating a system that mitigated the likelihood of clients trampling her boundaries. 

“I realized I can prevent these kinds of mistakes from the beginning by outlining how the client and I will communicate and what the expectations for responsiveness will be on both sides," she says.

Pollak also prevents client upsets by identifying potential troublemakers early on.

“If I see red flags that a person is high maintenance while we are still negotiating a relationship, I might walk away.”

The Importance of Client-Value Fit

Cali Yost, the owner of business performance firm FlexStrategyGroup, has experienced bumps in her entrepreneurial journey. But they've helped her gain clarity on what her company will and won’t do and how the company can best accomplish its goals.

Yost and her team believe that workplace flexibility is a "strategic business imperative," she explains. But pre-COVID, "many organizations would address flexibility as a 'women’s issue.'"

A recent client wanted to launch a strategy through their women's initiative, which chafed against Yost's sensibilities.

"Even though we knew it was much more than that and therefore the approach was against our better judgment," she says, "we took the engagement because we were assured that even though the women’s initiative 'owned' the project, our flexibility strategy would be rolled out organization-wide, for everyone. Unfortunately, this wasn't how it worked out."

With senior leadership unwilling to budge on flexibility being offered to all, the project faced "incredible backlash from men and single employees in the organization," Yost explains.

"The lack of buy-in and consistency across the company made it impossible to reach our goals and prevented our initiative from having the desired impact," she says.

Of course, no business owner wants to be in a situation where they feel like they’re set up to fail and that goes against why they were consulted in the first place. Though she was disappointed in its outcome, Yost didn't allow this scenario derail her. It instead reminded her of why she started her business.

"This experience forced us to decide we can’t compromise in terms of our approach," she says. "We believe flexibility is a way of operating that can unlock new levels of performance, engagement and well-being. This now means turning down business that wants to silo any change into a women’s initiative and redoubling our efforts in areas where our clients' beliefs do align with ours.

"When we can achieve this type of overarching flexibility for a client," she adds, "our team is more successful and feels better about that success."

Owning and Growing from Mistakes

We are all human, and inevitably, there will be times when we mess up. Making a mistake can feel embarrassing, shameful and defeating – especially when you have no one to blame but yourself.

Depending on how bad it is, you might even be tempted to quit.

However, it’s important not to allow one incident to destroy your confidence or your belief that you are a competent professional. Instead of ruminating on the thing you did wrong, consider instead the number of things you’ve done right.

Expecting perfection and beating yourself up when you don’t achieve it is irrational. As long as you own the mistake, make whatever reparations are necessary and do things differently next time, there’s nothing more you can ask of yourself.

“It's hard to remember in the moment, but every challenge is a learning experience that makes you stronger and more resilient as a business owner,” Pollak advises. "I rely on my network of fellow entrepreneurs when difficult situations occur. It's likely I am not the first one to have that experience and it makes me feel better to know I am not alone.”

“Everything is a lesson if you can see it that way, and if you can leave enough flexibility in your operating model to pivot when you encounter a roadblock,” Yost agrees.

Treating setbacks as temporary—and even an essential part of the process—will help you shake it off and get back out there doing what you do best. And perhaps in a year or two you’ll even recall the situation and laugh.

Read more articles on leadership.

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